


Boyfriends

by therune



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-08
Updated: 2012-05-08
Packaged: 2017-11-05 01:44:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/400552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therune/pseuds/therune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James hates Piper's boyfriends.No, really, he hates each and every one. </p>
<p>And James is the worst of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boyfriends

James hates Piper's boyfriends.No, really, he hates each and every one. 

Earl is the first he knows about and the worst person Piper could have picked. Earl is ruggedly handsome, strong and rough and tough, but he's a brute, and dull, and unimaginative. Piper is head over heels in love - or at least he thinks he is. James, the world's damn best conman, sees a teenage crush born out of rebellion and love of forbidden things. First, Earl Povich is a stupid name for a stupid man. And by god, is Earl stupid. Earl is violent - it's towards others, but James sees a potential of the violence eventually turning to Piper and James won't let that happen. What James cannot stand, is Earl not appreciating Piper. He doesn't treat him right and James has about enough of standing by when they break up. Well, when Earl gets himself in prison, because he had to be a stupid, stubborn dick. Thankfully Piper wasn't involved. He would have broken Piper out, but he would sadly, sadly have to leave Earl behind. And then go back and taunt Earl. 

Then there's that one chef. And when he leaves, Piper's heart breaks, Piper gets depressed, locks himself away, listens to sad, sad music and gains about 25 pounds. James makes some jokes, but he helps Piper. Well, he steals Piper's food, sits next to him in restaurants and takes his fries, or his milkshake, or stuffs the cheeseburger in his mouth and leaves Piper looking dejected. Luckily, Piper is tough and stubborn himself and kicks himself back into gear. Okay, James is happy for Piper. And Piper looks hot...which was definetely a neutral observation. Good for Piper...and good for James, but definetely good for Piper. 

As much as James hated Earl, he had to give the credit for one thing: he wasn't boring. Piper's boyfriends after he reformed are absolutely dull. Not that James checks or anything. But the chef was boring, the chemistry teacher - Fred or something - was boring, the car mechanic - Steve? Steven, or something - is so boring that he should be in the Guiness book of world records for boringness (his name was Sam) and don't get James started on that one trombonist from the symphonic orchestra, that guy was hell. In comparison, watching paint dry was positively exhilarating. None of those relationships last for long though, and it's always Piper who ends them. Good for him. James may have had some advice for Piper, an ear here, a shoulder to cry on (or more precisely, bitch at) and a few suggestions there. Piper may spend more time complaining to James about his boyfriends than spending actual time with said boyfriends, but James is not complaining, not at all.

Then comes James and all goes to hell. First, that's his name. His. He was here first!  
But...the worst thing is that James can't really hate other James. Other James is successful, rich, a bit dull, but he loves Piper. And Piper loves him. Other James is actually good for Piper. Piper looks happy when he talks about other James, he mentions silly little things, asks for advice on gifts and he's just good. Healthy in mind and body, happy and ...James hates how he can't hate other James. Other James listens to Piper's drama queen rants, laughs at his jokes, listens to him, and James hates it. Other James takes Piper away, and James is mad because other James gives Piper what he wants and needs. Not him, the other James. James hates that. He hates that it's other James, not him, whom Piper loves. He hates that he knows that other James is better than him, that James, as much as he likes (not the other l-word, definetely not) Piper, that he's not right, not the best. That's why Mindy left and never told him about Billy - because, no matter how good his intentions are, he's not what people need. He's not enough, and other James is, and that is why he hates other James.  
And how he takes up Piper's time. And that he shows James what he's missing and what he can't have. Piper is happy, and he is happy without him, and happy in this way because James is not with him. And that hurts. It hurts deep inside 

And in the end, he hates other James for leaving. For hurting Piper. And that, somehow, hurts James even more.


End file.
